


Memorandum

by mathildia



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: M/M, Memory Charms, Polyjuice Potion, Reverse Chronology
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-28
Updated: 2015-11-28
Packaged: 2018-05-03 19:40:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,069
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5304314
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mathildia/pseuds/mathildia
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sirius is dead and Remus will agree to anything to get him back. Even for a night.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Memorandum

**Author's Note:**

> I've found my old fic. Posting a few things.

**August 19th 1996 10.30am**

Remus Lupin is clattering down the stairs of Grimmauld Place and into the kitchen; already full to bursting with the Order of the Pheonix.

“Hi,” says Harry, who’s ladling out greyish porridge into a not-very-clean bowl “you okay, did it go okay?”

Remus feels very full. And heavy. 

And a bit sick.“Did what go okay?”

“Your, er, you know: full moon.” Harry points to the window, even though it’s already mid morning.

“Oh God. I, I don’t remember.”

And then Molly turns away from the stove and says: “Remus, is that blood on your chin?”

And then Tonks walks in and says: “Anyone seen Snape?”

 

**August 19th 1996 10am**

Remus is opening his eyes. It’s morning. Sunlight falls in clear shafts across the dirty floor. His head is muzzy. He feels confused. Squinting and wincing he stands up, throws on a dressing gown, and makes for the door. 

Why is the floor sticky? It’s covered in blood. 

Why is the floor covered in blood?

The door jams on something and he has to yank it hard, then climb over the dark object lying on the floor.

 

**August 18th 1996 9.30pm**

Snape is smiling. His thin lips curling in a way that makes Remus shiver. What just happened? Something did. Something bad. But Remus doesn’t know why he can’t remember it. Remus’s head pounds. And the pounding is familiar. Just like the aftermath of a clumsy memory charm. 

Which is odd.

Snape is moving over to the window. He is opening the curtains, then standing back so the moonlight pours in like sour milk. And Remus soaks in it. Drowns in it. It fills his nose and mouth with a stench that turns his stomach over; a stench that wakes the beast.

Snape says, “Do it.” And he can’t know what he’s saying; surely he doesn’t know.

And it’s too late to warn him anyway. Remus doesn’t remember taking Wolfsbane. But he doesn’t remember not taking it. But he can’t have because he’s losing, losing, losing control. And he opens his mouth to scream. And a howl comes out.

Snape’s gone.

There’s blood everywhere.

 

**August 18th 1996 8pm**

Remus is opening his eyes. He sighs and stretches a long stretch, before rolling over and curling back around Sirius’s long sleeping body. He feels so wonderful, so content. He didn’t know he would ever feel this way again. But he’s not sure why.

Sirius moves closer; all warmth and heat and that precise smell; or, almost.

“Sirius,” Remus says, gentle with satiety, “have you been brewing a potion?”

In reply, Sirius screams.

Remus freezes, stares, swallows. Sirius dissolves. He falls away in Remus’s arms until nothing is left. Nothing but Snape.

And it’s then that Remus notices how much his head hurts.

 

**August 18th 1996 4pm**

Remus is growling and laughing at the same time, pinning Sirius to the bed with moon-strength and easy passion. Sirius laughs too and faux-struggles, softening and hardening at the same time.

“Don’t try and escape,” Remus teases, “I don’t want to have to get rough.”

Sirius pouts. “Shame.”

Remus grins and when he does he notices his head aches a little bit.

 

**August 18th 1996 3.30pm**

“You first,” Remus is saying to Snape. “I want to see.”

Snape shrugs. “If you like.”

The liquid he drinks clearly tastes bad. Snape tries not to show it. But Remus knows all about trying to hide disgust. And before Remus is even aware of it Snape is changing. And it’s uncanny.

“Now you,” says Snape, although it is hard to even think of him as Snape now, with that haunting face and that melting-chocolate voice. And Remus is hard. Just from looking. Just from hearing. And it hasn’t even been that long.

So he doesn’t even resist or protest or think twice as Snape casts the slightly clunkish memory charm.

 

**July 30th 1996 2pm**

Remus is waiting. He hates the fact it takes so long to brew Polyjuice. He hates the fact that he has to live with what he has agreed to for a whole month. He likes to get things over with. A clean break.

Every time he meets Snape at mealtimes or in the hallways he wants to exchange furtive glances and knowing looks. To nestle in their plan. But Snape never does this.

 

**July 16th 1996 1pm**

Remus is leaving his bedroom. Harry, not just Harry, everyone is delighted to see Remus up and about. Even if he looks fragile. Even if he doesn’t say much. Even if he scratches at the wood of the table as if he searching for something.

Snape is searching too. Looking in the plughole of the kitchen sink. But no one seems to notice that.

Eventually they find a crumpled tissue under Sirius’s bed. Scrunched and rigid. Snape complains of course and wonders aloud why they couldn’t find a single stray hair in the whole house. Remus wonders that too. But the tissue will do, Snape says.

 

**July 16th 1996 11am**

Remus is mourning. It’s been seven days since he left his bedroom. Molly sends up food and a lot of it sent back uneaten. And then Remus leaves a note on a tray of cold stew which says he would like Severus Snape to come and see him.

When Snape arrives Remus talks quickly, staring out of the dirty window. He’s been brooding on this plan so long he has to let it out fast. And so he does. “I want you to brew Polyjuice.”

Snape sneers, “Been revising your potions?”

Remus snaps around. “I need to see him, Snape. One last time. I need to. I need to be with him.”

Snape is sitting on the bed. He isn’t really looking at Remus. “And why should I care about that?”

“Will you do it?” Remus’s mouth and hands are shaking. “Just say you’ll do it.”

Snape frowns. “Brew you a Polyjuice Potion?”

“And drink it. And become Sirius. And memory charm me so I don’t know it’s you.” The words fall out so fast and Remus looks as if he might faint.

Snape’s eyes go very wide and his mouth has half formed the word “no”, before he says. “I will, if you do something for me.”

“What?”

“Kill me.”

And Remus, who had already decided that he would offer Snape anything he wanted in return, says, “Okay.”

**Author's Note:**

> http://mathildia.tumblr.com/


End file.
